Forget Me Not
A reflection on a talk from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I recently re-read one of my favorite talks by then-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf called Forget Me Not about some key things to not forget. These things all seemed very relevant in the context of this blog (or perhaps just for me personally), so I thought I would take a few minutes to reflect on them.
Full talk here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng
Forget not to be patient with yourself.
This is one of the most difficult challenges for me. In parenthood, education/ career, and just life in general, I’ve had a hard time being okay with my own slow progress and frequent “backsliding” into things I thought I had overcome. Recently my sister-in-law told me that sometimes when she’s frustrated with herself and her response to her children that she takes a minute to remember all the times she was patient with them. Those are usually less obvious to us because that’s what we’re striving for and it’s a positive outcome, whereas when we have a moment of weakness it’s easy to focus on it. I think it’s also important to recognize not only the long-term nature of our eventual improvement, but also the source of that improvement: Christ. From Elder Uchtdorf,
“God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths,1 but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect,2 and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.”
Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.
I could write a much longer post (and may sometime) about the tension between good and foolish sacrifices and identifying them in our lives. As Elder Uchtdorf pointed out, “every person and situation is different, and a good sacrifice in one instance might be a foolish sacrifice in another.” That can make this a hard line to balance. But for now, suffice it to say that while sacrifice in and of itself is not a bad thing, as it is sometimes portrayed in modern culture (“Why give up anything? You can and should have it all now! Don’t bother waiting and saving to purchase something–do it on credit! Women shouldn’t be oppressed by taking care of their families: free yourselves and go without families!” Etc. (Not actual quotes, just the sense I sometimes get from stuff I read/hear/see.)). But sacrifice is also not in and of itself always a virtue.There is an important element of finding the most important things for our own lives and families at this time. For some, that may mean education and career now. For others that may mean one or both of those wait till later.
Forget not to be happy now.
Haha. Well, I said number one was hard for me. This one is too. I think I have a tendency to always be thinking ahead, to be planning something. That often leads to stress and anxiety and just generally a lot of not living right where I am right now. I will admit that I hear “enjoy this time with your kids while it lasts because they grow up so fast” maybe a little more often than I love, but honestly it is a good reminder for me. At the beginning of my freshman year of college my dad told me to remember I’d never have another freshman year (he may have been prescient in recognizing my workaholic tendencies). And he was right. That year was full of a lot of hard work and a lot of good memories, and I’m glad I didn’t spend all of it just on the one at the expense of the other. It turns out that one way or another most phases of our lives are going to have at least some element of hard to very hard mixed in. If we’re always waiting for the hard to go away, we’ll never have a chance to be happy. Oh too many good quotes:
“This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.
The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.”
Forget not the “why” of the gospel.
I’m currently working on a longer “why” post regarding parenting. But this is applicable through all aspects of our lives. I’ve noticed that when I’m doing something I generally think is worthwhile but sometimes it just doesn’t feel worth it in the moment because it’s not going well (aka all of grad school; but seriously, this comes up a lot in other things too), it really helps to take a step back and remember why I thought it was worth it in the first place. It usually still is worth it when it’s hard too.
Forget not that the Lord loves you.
I’ll just include a quote for this one. I can’t improve on this:
“Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!”
You are not forgotten.
Thoughts? Feel free to leave a comment!
I always remember to be grateful for my beautiful family. I love the way Jenny shares her thoughts. I love the pictures of my grandkids and their kids that come on my Frameo. Heavenly Father is very generous in His blessings to me.